Brownish Spider

[while, in my little world, I patched a plaster wall and in my little world, I was waiting (just dying!) to take offence at something this is all there is in my sad little world] in darkness a light shines on you and on me I never gathered figs from a thorny branch, I never picked a grapefruit off a bramble bush and for the past five- almost six years now!- you know you haven't once looked at me with kindness in your eyes you say Judas is a brother of mine? but sister in our darkness a light shines and all I ever want to say for the rest of my life is how that light is G-d, and though I've been mistaken on this or that point, that light is nevertheless G-d. every thing I thought I'd learned ambition and illusion turned to drawings on a loose leaf sheet of tarts and cakes I couldn't eat what in her do I require? the face of gratified desire what in me does she require? the face of a gratified desire brownish spider, brownish leaf confirms my deepest held belief. no more spider, no more leaf, no more me, no more belief.