Lifeboat

<p>Teacher: Good morning, class!<br/><br/>Class: Good morning, Mrs. Aryan<br/><br/>Teacher: Today we&#x27;re going to play a game!<br/><br/>Class: Yeah!<br/><br/>Teacher: This game is called Lifeboat. All together...<br/><br/>Class: Lifeboat!<br/><br/>Teacher: Good! Lifeboat is a lesson in values clarification. Can you say values clarification?<br/><br/>Class: No<br/>Teacher: Values clarification is where your little minds decide which lives are worth living and which lives are worth...ahem...not living. Now here&#x27;s how we play. A big ship just sank. There are five people on the lifeboat. But the lifeboat is only made for two. I&#x27;ll list the five people on the chalkboard, and you, class, will decide which three will be thrown overboard. Are we ready?<br/><br/>Class: Yes, Mrs. Aryan<br/><br/>Teacher: Good! First, there&#x27;s an old, old crippled grandfather. Second, there&#x27;s a mentally handicapped person in a wheelchair<br/><br/>Alison: What&#x27;s mentally handicapped?<br/><br/>Teacher: It means they can never be a productive members of society. Third, there&#x27;s an overweight woman on welfare, with a sniffling, whimpering baby<br/><br/>Max: Is the baby on welfare, too?<br/><br/>Teacher: Let&#x27;s not push Mrs. Aryan...<br/><br/>Sydney: Who else is in the boat?<br/><br/>Teacher: A young, white doctor with blue eyes and perfect teeth, and Joan Collins. Now, class, take five minutes to make your decision. ... Times up! Well class?<br/><br/>Class: (singing)<br/>Throw over grandpa &#x27;cause he&#x27;s getting pretty old<br/>Throw out the baby or we&#x27;ll all be catching it&#x27;s cold<br/>Throw over fatty and we&#x27;ll see if she can float<br/>Throw out the retard, and they won&#x27;t be rockin&#x27; the boat<br/><br/>Teacher: Very good! That was fun, wasn&#x27;t it?<br/>Class: Yes, Mrs. Aryan<br/><br/>Teacher: For our next lesson, we&#x27;re going to do an experiment!<br/><br/>Class: Yeah!<br/><br/>Teacher: We&#x27;re going to test the law of gravity, just like Galileo, by dropping two objects out the window--one heavy and one light--to see which one hits the sidewalk first. Now what shall we use for the lighter object? I&#x27;m thinking of something small and square...<br/><br/>Class: An eraser?<br/><br/>Teacher: Good! And what shall we use for the heavy object? I&#x27;m thinking of something round and bouncy... Tommy, I haven&#x27;t given you permission to leave your seat...class, the bell has not rung. What are you... oohh! Class...put me down! Put me down this instant! Ooohhh! Ooohhh!<br/><br/>Class: (singing)<br/>Throw over teacher and we&#x27;ll see if she can bounce<br/>We&#x27;ve learned our lesson--teacher says perfection&#x27;s what counts<br/>She&#x27;s getting old and gray and wears an ugly coat<br/>Throw over teacher and we&#x27;ll play another game of lifeboat